Monday, June 30, 2008

Putting One of the Oldest Myths to Rest

Does the bible really suggest we spank our children, or only that we discipline them? The rod was a tool the shepherds used to GUIDE their sheep and the word discipline means "to teach". However, there is more then one rod scripture to address. The famous line you hear from many well intentioned Christian mothers is "spare the rod spoil the child" but there are many rod scriptures found throughout the bible, and it has been the cause of much debate of whether or not it is a Christian's obligation to spank their children. Finally, this concept can be put to rest. I've come across a wonderful article written by Joan Renae. Using the Strong's Concordance she has found an eye opening truth about ALL of the rod scriptures. We all know spanking is a dangerous parenting tool according to modern day psychology, and no longer can a person excuse this choice as honoring the Word of God.

Please click the link below and enjoy this eye opening article on what the scripture are really telling us about disciplining our children.

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/articles/rodstudy.php

It's never too late to stop spanking and rebuild the relationship with your child based on trust and love.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

THE BOYS

Photos of my handsome little ones!

Of course because I didn't buy any before he was born, he is my first baby to ever take a pacifier!:

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Joey the day of his evaluation:

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Thumbs Up!:

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Sleeping:

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More Pictures:

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Tea Time, Big Smiles, and Brushing her Teeth!

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The Pool Experience Summer 2008

We're still enjoying every morning outside by the pool! It's fun watching how the kids grow to love the water more and more. Joey has continued to be cautious, and he likes to observe a long time before trying anything, but he is doing wonderful and showing more interest. He has started walking down the steps into the water - all the way down to the 4th step! I can see the difference in the kids personalities through our pool experiences. Joey took a while just to play on the first step, and would only do so when he felt no one was around to bring him all the way into the pool. He wants to do things on his terms. Emma on the other hand, jumps right in. No fear! The last few days she has been climbing down the stairs into the pool, jumping in, swimming across the pool to the deep end, and getting out using the ladder in the deep end. They have both been having a blast. Emma is turning into the copper tone girl, while Joey keeps his pale complexion like his mommy.

Now onto the part you have all be waiting for... pictures!!

Joey is trying the swimmies, but keeps his body stiff and doesnt go anywhere without help from dad:
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the pool float is more his style:
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playing on the first step:
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Joey loves to dump water on himself:
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throwing a ball into the pool:
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Emma sports a mohawk:
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She always has a blast:
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climbing out the deep end:
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Joey had his Evaluation with the School Board

Things went great! Great meaning we will be getting the services for him I had hoped! I wanted him to get recommended for at least 3 full days or 5 half days - and he got recommended for full time school! I have to get some documents together by our next meeting. Joey really did great though, I'm so proud of him. He did have some short tantrums out of frustration but his behavior was very good overall. He walked holding my hand, left and came with me as soon as I said it was time to go (even though he was in the middle of playing with toys) Just very very good. The ladies who evaluated him were so nice too! You could tell they really cared about kids and understood children like Joey. I am excited for him to begin and having faith that this will be a major turning point in his development. The school board advisers seemed very hopeful for him too. Their goal is the same as mine - to have Joey ready for kindergarten by the age of 5 and to have all this behind us like the delay never took place. I'm regaining confidence in the system, myself, and especially my son that we are going to overcome this.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Joey's Story

People sometimes ask me, "Why is Joey like that?" "Whats wrong with him?"

There is noting WRONG with him. To him though, the world around him does not feel right.

Some people have told me, without saying so directly, that he just needs more discipline. They have told me, he seems like a normal 3 year old to them, he just isn't talking. I have tried to explain to them what I am writing here, but I can sense they don't understand.

Once when trying to explain what a sensory processing disorder was to somebody, they told me "of course you think he's a good kid. he's your son" as if they thought I was just making excuses for him. I wish there was just one other person besides me who could see what an amazing and sweet child he is despite these struggles. Some days I get frustrated too.. it would be nice if there was someone my son could turn to when my patience was not strong enough to overcome my frustration. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty when I have a bad day.

As for it being normal toddler behavior - they are right. He's a toddler after all, so he responds to frustration the way a toddler would. What people don't seem to understand is that what is frustrating him doesn't frustrate most children. This causes more frequent tantrums.

So what does the world feel like to Joey?

Stanley Greenspan, the author of "The Challenging Child" (1995) has an insightful analogy to help us understand what people experience when they can not effectively process, or interpret, sensory input.

He describes it this way:

"Imagine driving a car that isn't working well. When you step on the gas the car sometimes lurches forward and sometimes doesn't respond. When you blow the horn it sounds blaring. The brakes sometimes slow the car, but not always. The blinkers work occasionally, the steering is erratic, and the speedometer is inaccurate. You are engaged in a constant struggle to keep the car on the road, and it is difficult to concentrate on anything else."

Children learn through their senses. There are 7 senses. You learned about 5 of them in school - sight, sound, taste, feel, and smell. There is also the vestibular (balance) and proprioceptive senses (feeling where you are in relation to space - such as feeling your arm over your head when you raise your hand). When one or some of these senses are not working properly it affects learning and behavior.

Joey has proprioceptive dysfunction. This would be why he was banging his head when he was 15 months old against the wall or floor. This would be why he intentionally crashed into people or pushes his body against them. Why he will spin in circles for long periods of time. He is seeking that proprioceptive input. Then there are things he avoids too, he gets scared. He has gotten past a lot of his tactile defensiveness though - such as grass, sand, and water (which he now loves) and playdoh. He is still sensitive to touch though. I guess you could say he's very ticklish, and doenst like to be tickled. you cant go anywhere near his ears or mouth, or cut or brush his hair. We finally got him to be okay with diaper changes, and that was a huge step for us, and have found a solution for brushing his teeth. Before that we had to pin him down. That goes against my nature as a parent, but it would be unhealthy not to brush his teeth so we worked hard to find another solution and did what we had to do in the meantime.

Joey's speech is improving more lately as well. Sign language has helped a lot. His therapists have been wonderful. For a long time I held onto the hope that he would outgrow this. His therapists say he is learning very quickly for kids with the same diagnosis. However, I watch his developmental age and real age grow further and further apart. When it began we had a 15 month old that was more like a 12 month old. Then a 2 year old that was like a 15 month old. Now we have a 3 year old that is like an 18 month old. It's like the gap just gets bigger and bigger even though he is making progress. I am working on dealing with the fact that I have to stop expecting him to outgrow this. I need to accept it for what it is and be ready to commit to the fact that this may be something he struggles with his whole life. This is hard for me. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want him to be like other kids his age. Those are real feelings. As terrible as it sounds, I'm just being honest.

My son though is one of the sweetest children you will ever meet - but you have to give him a chance and look past all of what he is up against. Sadly, I don't think many people have given him that chance. That's where my real guilt come from. There is no one to be there for him when I fail.

If you want to understand more, try visiting this informative website:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Emma's Swimming Lessons with Daddy!

Here is a slide show of Emma learning to swim with her Daddy, and a few videos as well!

First time using water wings:


Floating around...


Climbing along the pool side wall:


Picture slide show...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008