Sad Walk Down Memory Lane (and no-memory lane)

I can remember like yesterday the early joey days. the things that made him laugh, the faces he made, just the way he looked when he was small. all of it. it makes me sad those days are gone. I wish I could revisit them, freeze time. but there is one thing that makes me much more sad. that I don't have those memories with Emma. my post partum depression with her was so severe that the earliest memory I have that is as strongly burned into my memory as the ones with Joey are of Emma when she was 10 months old. I do remember times before that, but not the way I remember with Joey. It breaks my heart. I can never get those moments back, and worse I cant even remember what most of those moments were :cry:

I have made an extra effort to just burn into my memory every sweet second with Lincoln. they do grow up to fast. Having another newborn in the house does NOT replace you missing your older child being a newborn - not that I ever thought it would, but you would think it would fulfill some kind of "need" to have a little baby to breastfeed and snuggle with and make laugh simply by looking at them (though Joey still does that) but it doesn't. It does not change the fact that Emma is 2 and Joey is 3. It does not change the fact that [b]they [/b]don't breastfeed anymore. that [b]they[/b] dont co-sleep anymore. that [b]they[/b] aren't newborns anymore, and never, ever, will be again :cry: never.