Worst Parenting Advice Article Ever!

http://www.justmommies.com/articles/toddler-discipline.shtml

everything wrong with this article:

"Parents who are afraid of disciplining their children and saying ‘no’ are creating a society of little terrors and down right brats. Then these same parents bemoan the breakdown of society. Are these little terrors who they don’t dare say ‘no’ to so their children’s precious creativity isn’t stifled supposed to magically morph into upstanding, responsible adults? How exactly? Humans are creatures of habit. Every move we make now, every decision and behavioural choice we make is a direct result of the tools we were given as a child by our parents."

Paragraph one tells us this article is not written by a professional. First of all, at least use spell check before publishing an article. It's BEHAVIORAL not BEHAVIOURAL. I'm not going to take cooking advice from someone who can't spell flour, and I'm not taking discipline advice from someone who can't spell behavior. Also, we don't make behavioral choices, we make disciplinary choices (our children are the ones who make choices about their behavior). The decisions I make now are not a result of tools given to me as a child by my parents, but are a result of my reaction to their tools that they used when I was a child.

(see article for paragraph two)

A baby can't do anything wrong or unsafe because they are immobile. If your child is doing something unsafe as a BABY then you have already seriously failed as a parent, because the only way this is possible is if the caretaker put the child in harms way.

(see article for paragraph three)

Again with the spelling. Though this is probably the only section of the article containing any valuable insight. However it's contradictory with the following information in the article. Also it would have been better expressed : Behavior will improve if you stay calm and discipline consistently. Also, not all behavior is habit. How we behave is a choice. Does someone rob a bank out of [i]habit[/i]? or do they [i]choose [/i]to make a bad decision when they do that?

(see article for paragraph four)

Thank you captain obvious for this insight. Of course it's best to wait until your child can understand you. Would you go to another country unable to speak their language and be able to follow their directions? And yes, of course HITTING your child will lead to screaming and tears. You said 2 sentences ago you swatted him only a few times, then you said its important to remain consistent. Which is it? Did you consistently swat him, or was it only a few times? I know I don't need to get into the obvious problems with that paragraph in general - hitting your child - in the face no less!

(see article for paragraph five)

Insert eye rolling here. Yes our children are such manipulative little twits right? I want to take the advice of someone who thinks so poorly of children. Children WANT to behave. Children WANT to please their parents. Maybes parents should take more responsibility and create an environment that is conducive to good behavior, and focus on that instead of ignoring their children until they do something wrong. Sadly, a child will take a spanking for doing something wrong if that is the only way they can get attention from their parent. Alternatively, they may behave and fear the parent and grow away from the parent having no relationship with them. Hope you have enough money in your retirement fund for a nice old people home!

(see article for paragraph six)

So you want to teach your child to take life at face value and not to bargain? Way to crush important life skills before your child even reaches grade school.

Paragraph 6 Reads: "For toddlers, she believes the good old 1-2-3 method works best and is really effective in public with older children as it adds the embarrassment factor of the threat of punishment in front of strangers. Simply threatening that if they don’t stop their behavior or do what you say in one, two, three seconds, ‘something’ is going to happen is usually enough to make a child fall in line. A firm tone is necessary so they don’t think they can butter you up into changing your mind. It’s also important you have something planned for the end of the countdown if they don’t behave. A planned consequence is important, even if you don’t vocalize it to the child because children love to test the boundaries you place on them so they will sometimes call your bluff."

Purposefully embarrass your child? That makes my stomach turn. Again I know I don't even need to explain how and why this is wrong.

(see article for paragraph seven)

First of all, whose fault is it she is even able to touch something she shouldn't be touching? and which is it - are you telling her something or yelling at her, before giving that delicate hand a smack? And sometimes that doesn't work and so you need to use NON physical punishment. Wow is that backwards. So the corner is bad but smacking is good. I don't think either is good, but really unsure where this lady gets her reasoning? To the last statement - she needs to learn when to listen to me - does that mean sometimes she doesn't have to listen to you? Sounds complicated for a toddler - to have to learn WHEN to listen to their parent.

(see article for paragraph eight)

Why not have her father help BEFORE you "blow your top". And no wonder you need so much help, how can you expect to "control" your child when you are so out of control yourself. Also, I believe the parent that starts the discipline needs to finish it. If you need help thats fine but you need to stay involved to teach your child there is nothing they can do to make you give up on them. A break is one thing - passing the child like a hot potato is another. I agree with calming down when you lose your cool, but get back in there!

(see article for paragraph nine)

This might not be a problem if the parents weren't playing hot potato with their discipline. Also, I think its more important that the PARENTS be clear and on the same page, not that it be clear to the child. It will become clear to the child in time when they realize the parents are always communicating and on the same page. This is the parents responsibility, not the child's.

(see article for paragraph ten)

This is true - but there is a difference between punishment and discipline. Hitting your child as shared here is a punishment and is NOT healthy and will NOT foster a healthy and loving family environment. Positive Discipline will though. And if you follow the advice in this article you will not be sending well adjusted children out into society - you will be sending out robots that run on fear instead of fuel.

The overall tone of the article makes me feel like those who contributed to the article do no enjoy children. They see them as some evil scheming beings that are out to get them in any way they can. The reality is children just want attention - negative or positive. Children will act out and take a spanking if that is the only way they can get a response from you, because even that negative attention is better then being ignored. It's time people started treated children like humans and not like pets.